Okay, This one i'm gonna try my best!!!!

Hello everyone!! my Bayan class. This is Lillian Sobejana. I would like to tell you guys that i am having a hard time writing but im gonna try my best. The topic that we've been learning, Identity is so interesting for me. I am Filipina but that i don't have lots of friends.Does it tell how am i if i have just few friends? Most of my life since i became a mother, i have focus on doing things to my children. You may say that there are lots of Filipino community here in San Diego that i can get together, go party with, go out with and hang out with but i seldom do that. My social life been restricted not because i choose to but maybe i am used to it just hanging out with my children and stay in the house. When i go out, i only have maybe one or two friends to hang out with but mostly the second generation Filipino American or sometimes, i just go out by myself.  I guess its my nature, being a loner.  I only have few friends but that is not a big issue for me because i am happy of my situation like that. But so much to say about me and my boring social life, i want to share how i felt when i read the Chapter 1 from the book Filipino American Psychology by Kevin L.Nadal. I remember when i was 5 years old in the Philippines, my father would always tell me that i was lucky because I was the only reason why my Grandfather  (Lolo) came back home from United States after 30 years as a farmer was because i was born. So as i was growing up, my Lolo would always speak English to me and i was confused why he was speaking different language. I don't understand him. It was when i read the part in the book about the third wave of Filipino immigrants were the laborers search of opportunities. I remember my Lolo, he was one of those Filipino immigrants. Then I felt more connected when i read the part of the Immigration Act 1965 which led to the final wave of Filipino immigrants. I remember when i was 6 or 7 years old, my oldest brother has to live to United States after he became an engineer. My mother followed to United States then she became naturalized very quick because she was a first aid World War 11 veteran. I was left alone in the Philippines with my father. I stayed and lived there until i was 20 years old then i decided to follow my family here in California. I had my culture shock life everyone experienced when they first come to United States. I have to stay with my oldest sister family who was a Registered nurse here in San Diego. I grew up in the Philippines so it was very difficult for me when i migrated here because everything i do here is different. I became confused with my identity. The lifestyle is different, the people, the community and so on. I saw a lot of  Filipino that i never seen in my own country talking different dialects. Filipinos from all different parts of the Philippines. Im hearing all kinds of dialects that i never heard before. I told myself, who are okay and who are bad. They have different traits wherever region they came from. Most of them segregate which ever region they came from and talk bad amongst each other. I guess this is what i experienced and  told myself that it will be hard for me to have lots of Filipino friends. They will confuse my identity more so i prefer not to have lots of friends. I believe that my identity will always be me. I am aware of my own identity. As long as i consider and keep my own belief, run my life how i wanna be, own choice and what i want to be. That will be my happiness.